Sunday, 20 January 2013
Hello!
Hello all!
After almost a year, I have been reminded that my writing may just help someone one day, so here I go again!
How have you all been? Any new Mamas out there? I would love to hear some feedback, and discussion on motherhood, and how everyday life is for all of us!
Lets see, alot has changed since last February. For instance, I went back to work full time when K was 9 months old, as my Husband was a casualty of the changing economy and was laid off from his job of 11 years. He has been home with the girls, and doing well. The girls are growing so fast! M is almost 5, and K will be 16 months on the 25th. I am doing ok, trying to keep up with life has me pretty tired at the end of the day, but I love my life, spilled milk and all.
For me, keeping perspective has been difficult. When you are facing adversity, you feel like the only person on the planet that is getting shit on and lose sight of what is beautiful and necessary in life. I try to knock myself down a bit everyday, so the negativity doesn't win, and I don't forget what's really important. That, folks is love. The love of family, friends, and acts of random kindness to complete strangers, in the hopes of brightening someone's day. Negative people seem so soul sucking and sad, but I just can't give up that someday they might see things differently. My Mom's emotional side coming out in me, I guess.
Anyways, would write more but have to chase children,
See you later!
J
Wednesday, 29 February 2012
Long time no type!
Hello all,
Things have been nuts here, and to be honest,I have forgotten about this blog until today! Hope everyone is well.
Has anyone had a baby or child with exczema? Little K has broken out in it pretty much everywhere, and I am doing damage control with baths, bactroban, and hydrocortisone cream. Apparently it eventually goes away, but will likely be present throughout childhood. Nobody in my family has had this, so it comes from Dada's side I am guessing.
K's colic has passed! FINALLY! She is still not sleeping for very long (probably because she's so itchy) but she's not screaming 24/7, so it's do-able.
Is anyone going through a 'special' stage with their wee one?
Also, we are currently looking for a new place to rent, in a less crime-riddled part of town, and boy-is it hard! Either too expensive, or too small, or gruesome. We'll find one,it's just going to be a long haul.
Spring is just around the corner! I'm already thinking of what I'm going to plant!
Have a great week all!
J
Things have been nuts here, and to be honest,I have forgotten about this blog until today! Hope everyone is well.
Has anyone had a baby or child with exczema? Little K has broken out in it pretty much everywhere, and I am doing damage control with baths, bactroban, and hydrocortisone cream. Apparently it eventually goes away, but will likely be present throughout childhood. Nobody in my family has had this, so it comes from Dada's side I am guessing.
K's colic has passed! FINALLY! She is still not sleeping for very long (probably because she's so itchy) but she's not screaming 24/7, so it's do-able.
Is anyone going through a 'special' stage with their wee one?
Also, we are currently looking for a new place to rent, in a less crime-riddled part of town, and boy-is it hard! Either too expensive, or too small, or gruesome. We'll find one,it's just going to be a long haul.
Spring is just around the corner! I'm already thinking of what I'm going to plant!
Have a great week all!
J
Friday, 27 January 2012
Hellooo evrybody! Hello Dr. Nick!
Ahh, Friday...
Thanks for all the positive feedback on the blog, makes a gal feel special! I just have to comment, completely out of left field...
Has anyone else ever seen the commercial for lotto 649 with the couple hiking through the jungle on their own private island?
I find it funny, they forgot to show the giant insects and the Cockatoo just goes 'chirp'...so cute. Not real, but cute.
Just thought I would mention that.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
xo
J
Thanks for all the positive feedback on the blog, makes a gal feel special! I just have to comment, completely out of left field...
Has anyone else ever seen the commercial for lotto 649 with the couple hiking through the jungle on their own private island?
I find it funny, they forgot to show the giant insects and the Cockatoo just goes 'chirp'...so cute. Not real, but cute.
Just thought I would mention that.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
xo
J
Thursday, 26 January 2012
Jenn, quit your complaining.
I am humbled tonight. I cannot imagine leaving my children so soon. I do not know this woman personally, but I cannot stop thinking of her. Her name is Jackie, and she has terminal breast cancer. She also has 2 little boys, who she will have to leave here, much too soon. God, please be with her, and her family. Bring them peace, and surround them with your light and love.
thank you,
Jenn.
thank you,
Jenn.
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
Anxiety, actually
As I sit here in our warm livingroom with my little girl watching Yo Gabba Gabba, I am thinking back to when my husband and I were married. Not sure why, but I figured I wasn't the only one who does this from time to time. Remember when all there was was you and him? Possibly a pet or 2? Enter reality....
The first step for me was marriage. I always wanted to get married before I had kids, and as luck would have it, that happened. I married my best friend in May 27, 2007.
I suffer from Debilitating anxiety, and have for most of my life I am quite sure. That being said, my memories of the wedding are few, and mostly stressful. I did most of the legwork for the entire thing, short of renting the tuxes, and setting up the hall the night before, so it was incredibly hard for me to enjoy ANY of the day that was supposed to be the best day of my life. It was a beautiful time, and we all came together so well, and had sooo much fun, I just wish I could have loosened up a bit...
I have been receiving treatment for anxiety for the past 3 years, and frankly have never felt better! I want to have a wedding eventually, to renew our vows maybe, and actually live every second the way it is supposed to be lived. That was my main thing, I was never EVER able to live in the moment, no matter how hard I tried. Especially with stressful events, I think my mind went into survival mode, and just made me block out all feeling. Whatever had happened usually hit me a few months down the road...fun times!
It feels so nice to be able to feel! But I digress...
I guess the reason I am writing this, is the fairy tale that most of us are sold about life after marriage, and that your life will resemble a magazine when you have kids, is such bullshit. There, I said it, bull shit! The one article that I read that made me want to vomit was Jennifer Lopez's after her twins were born. She looked like a supermodel' and her kids (both 8 weeks old) were in a suit and a ballgown. @#4! And all the rambling on about how her life was complete and her babies were perfect made me want to gouge her eyes out. I wondered how many nannies she had at her beck and call 24 hours a day to look after her kids, so that she could get her beauty sleep. The heart and soul that moms put into every second they are with their kids, just seemed so far away from her. The babies just seemed like accessories. I found myself (and even do now)very very bitter. As a first time mom at that point, I felt lied to and that parents had essentially kept me in the dark about all that parenting and being a mom actually entailed. The 24 hours a day 365 rest of your life change. I went into motherhood kicking and screaming.
I have never sugar coated anything from my friends, nor will I ever. Being a mom to a little life is just too important to not try to prepare for the shitty parts too.
I can't even remember where I was going with all of this...
I guess I have just been thinking lately on how life has changed since my kids came on the scene. It takes a while to settle into this whole mom thing...I am comfy now. Coffee helps...hee. As well as a sense of humor. And wine, and....
Not to say I still don't have the occasional urge to run away to some obscure place and live in a beach hut under an assumed name for the rest of my life, it feels way better to know that I am not the only one who has felt this way before!
Accepting is a hard thing to do too.
Accepting that the people I love have faults, as I have faults, and loving them for who they are instead of being pissed off that they aren't who I think they ought to be. Doing that makes me feel better. It's kind of a way to just let go. To let go of expectations, and just take things as they come.
wow, that was a lot of rambling...I'm done now. It feels better for my gemini mind to just verbally vomit and get it out!
Hope you all have a fantastic week, and that it stops raining before I go crazy.
xo
J
The first step for me was marriage. I always wanted to get married before I had kids, and as luck would have it, that happened. I married my best friend in May 27, 2007.
I suffer from Debilitating anxiety, and have for most of my life I am quite sure. That being said, my memories of the wedding are few, and mostly stressful. I did most of the legwork for the entire thing, short of renting the tuxes, and setting up the hall the night before, so it was incredibly hard for me to enjoy ANY of the day that was supposed to be the best day of my life. It was a beautiful time, and we all came together so well, and had sooo much fun, I just wish I could have loosened up a bit...
I have been receiving treatment for anxiety for the past 3 years, and frankly have never felt better! I want to have a wedding eventually, to renew our vows maybe, and actually live every second the way it is supposed to be lived. That was my main thing, I was never EVER able to live in the moment, no matter how hard I tried. Especially with stressful events, I think my mind went into survival mode, and just made me block out all feeling. Whatever had happened usually hit me a few months down the road...fun times!
It feels so nice to be able to feel! But I digress...
I guess the reason I am writing this, is the fairy tale that most of us are sold about life after marriage, and that your life will resemble a magazine when you have kids, is such bullshit. There, I said it, bull shit! The one article that I read that made me want to vomit was Jennifer Lopez's after her twins were born. She looked like a supermodel' and her kids (both 8 weeks old) were in a suit and a ballgown. @#4! And all the rambling on about how her life was complete and her babies were perfect made me want to gouge her eyes out. I wondered how many nannies she had at her beck and call 24 hours a day to look after her kids, so that she could get her beauty sleep. The heart and soul that moms put into every second they are with their kids, just seemed so far away from her. The babies just seemed like accessories. I found myself (and even do now)very very bitter. As a first time mom at that point, I felt lied to and that parents had essentially kept me in the dark about all that parenting and being a mom actually entailed. The 24 hours a day 365 rest of your life change. I went into motherhood kicking and screaming.
I have never sugar coated anything from my friends, nor will I ever. Being a mom to a little life is just too important to not try to prepare for the shitty parts too.
I can't even remember where I was going with all of this...
I guess I have just been thinking lately on how life has changed since my kids came on the scene. It takes a while to settle into this whole mom thing...I am comfy now. Coffee helps...hee. As well as a sense of humor. And wine, and....
Not to say I still don't have the occasional urge to run away to some obscure place and live in a beach hut under an assumed name for the rest of my life, it feels way better to know that I am not the only one who has felt this way before!
Accepting is a hard thing to do too.
Accepting that the people I love have faults, as I have faults, and loving them for who they are instead of being pissed off that they aren't who I think they ought to be. Doing that makes me feel better. It's kind of a way to just let go. To let go of expectations, and just take things as they come.
wow, that was a lot of rambling...I'm done now. It feels better for my gemini mind to just verbally vomit and get it out!
Hope you all have a fantastic week, and that it stops raining before I go crazy.
xo
J
Friday, 6 January 2012
Backwards day
It seemed to me that yesterday was backwards day in the world, and I didn't get the memo...
Went to the ped's with #2, to get results of her abd. U/S, done new years eve. It was done to rule out pyloric stenosis, as she has had a rough go with her tummy since day 1. Anyways, it is winter...I saw 3, count them 3, cars with their tops down...crazy people everywhere, either self-induced or not. On the bus on the way home, I had to stand just inside with the strolleras the bus was packed. Once I was safely aboard with my 3.5 month old daughter, I realized quickly the young lady sitting next to the stroller was completely whacked on something and began sputtering death threats about my child. I kept calm, made eye contact with a fairly large gentleman next to her, and wtched her closely. I would have seriously f#@&ed her up if she had made a move towards my baby. The adrenaline was instant! Mama bear mode! Anyways, just thought I'd share that.
the ultrasound was normal, by the way.
Yey!
peace,
J
Went to the ped's with #2, to get results of her abd. U/S, done new years eve. It was done to rule out pyloric stenosis, as she has had a rough go with her tummy since day 1. Anyways, it is winter...I saw 3, count them 3, cars with their tops down...crazy people everywhere, either self-induced or not. On the bus on the way home, I had to stand just inside with the strolleras the bus was packed. Once I was safely aboard with my 3.5 month old daughter, I realized quickly the young lady sitting next to the stroller was completely whacked on something and began sputtering death threats about my child. I kept calm, made eye contact with a fairly large gentleman next to her, and wtched her closely. I would have seriously f#@&ed her up if she had made a move towards my baby. The adrenaline was instant! Mama bear mode! Anyways, just thought I'd share that.
the ultrasound was normal, by the way.
Yey!
peace,
J
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